Archive for the ‘FEATURE’ Category

The Primary objective in any first date should be “Beatation without representation.  But even the best of use have to postpone our love dance for the second or third date. Well if you committed any of the crimes below, don’t even waste your time waiting for that call. ” If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you’re already dead!”

1)You wore a leather sport jacket with Jeans- Thought it looked good on Russel Simmons. Yea you could rock that too right? Wrong! When can you wear a leather sport jacket? When you first name is Steve and you last name is Jobs. Or your a senior member of the Russian mafia. Or your father is the king of Saudi Arabia. Otherwise keep it simple.

2)You Brought Her To Red Lobster- Hey nobody love some cheddar bay biscuit more than I but, unless she is sixteen and brought parental supervision, leave Red Lobster for the fishes.

3)She ordered sex on the beach…You order sex on the beach- Come on leave the mudslide for  your Wednesday movie night. As Tony Braxton said “just be a man about”. Order a man drink even if you don’t like it. Remember what the primary objective is.

4)You Forgot Her Name- I have fell into this tar pit many times. You just order you second henny double shot. Your in the middle of that story when you smoked a cigar with Castro. Then she hits you with ” I bet you don’t even remember my name”. Even if you did know the name, such a sneak attack will always leave you paralyzed. I write the names on my hand like Sara Palin. Trust me it works!!

5)You itemise the check- You know who you are. When the check comes you stop the conversation to talley up all the drinks on the table. You take out you glasses and phone calculator to work out the tip. Oh Dear! When you see the check coming start to prepare your poker face. Take a quick glance(no more than .5 seconds) at the bill. DONT STOP TALKING. Throw the bread out like it was Klenex tissue. Now you have a chance.

6)You Flirted to Much With the Waiter- A little “flirtation” is always good. Show her a little wit. So her a little cockiness. Don’t go overboard!

These are just a few pitfalls that occur on a common date. If you can avoid these reasons you might get that rise and shine call you have been waiting for…Try not to be this guy below!

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You support That???

Brought to you by Drunken Finger!!!

1) Because 95% of all animal dont believe in monogamy
Born to Cheat? Well sometimes the answer to complex questions can be answered by looking at nature.
There is nothing natural about monogamy. Future species or adoptions will look back at our time and try to explain why we took this route. After all of the analysis they will proclaim that this practice was our Achilles heel.

2) Because Darwin said so
More than 50% of men in relationships cheat, and some experts believe monogamy may not be part of a man’s nature. They argue that, for thousands of years males, were driven to seek out multiple partners in order to have as many children as possible and continue their genetic legacy. It make sense that strong and successful men should have more children. The result would be a smarter, stronger and more productive  Homo sapiens species.
3) Because Dr Oz Said So-

Dr. Oz tv show -: Scientific reasons why men cheat
Are men biologically predisposed to cheat because of an innate desire to continue the species? Scientists in Sweden recently discovered about 40% of men have a specific gene that makes them twice as likely to have a troubled marriage as men without it. The gene in question affects the way men produce an attachment hormone called vasopressin.

4) Because My best friend cheats to0-

The Friend Connection

Another surprising finding of the study was that 77% of cheating men had best friends who cheated, compared to less than half of the faithful men, suggesting that there is a pack mentality when it comes to monogamy.

So you can make you own conclusion but it is quite clear to the people here at WeDontGiveAWhat.com that men were put on this earth to reproduce.There is no denying the facts. If you beleive that man should be monogamus you probably dont believe in global warming or evolution for that matter. The real unnatural practice is marrigae…

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Brought to you by the great mind of Confucius…

Its a pretty well known fact that alot men lie about how big their package is. OK, but do women lie on how great their Pu$$y is? Well Ive heard women brag about the mystical powers of their nanny. Some lived up to the hype but the majority fell short. I know women that would tell a man straight up if he is wack in bed. But I wonder as a man would you tell a women if she sucks in bed.Be honest for second, don’t worry the cameras are off. Would you tell a woman straight up no chaser “miss this was the worst sex I’ve ever had,sorry”.
Yea that’s what I thought. “Suka 4 luv”! Well would you describe some good nanny anyway.What separates good nanny from bad nanny. Is it a question of tightness or wetness. Whats your flavor. Well once we know what determines good nanny we can be honest about it.
Well women lie about alot of things to men and men take it with a grain of salt. What worst is that most time men know their being lied to yet it doesn’t bother them. Men know that’s a weave your wearing, men know you have a girdle on and some butt enhancement underwear but they turn a blind eye. But to lie on your nanny is not acceptable anymore. So its your job no your duty next time a girl is wack in bed, you speak up!
Think of it as a service to all. If she is aware of how wack her nanny is, she will take steps to fix the problem. And the next man that has sex with her will have only you to thank. Long live the people’s resistance!

Lord Destro despises democracy. Why on earth should the majority rule? Especially when the majority is simply a cross section of the weak, the jealous, the cowardly, and the lazy? Lord Destro is so completely confused by the notion of “liberty and justice for all.” How is this possible, when the majority so feverishly lurks over the conscious few, constantly seeking to steal and defile each and every precious belonging of the minority?

Case and point: Thickness. A poetic term created within urban culture for the sake of identification. In a world where stick figures and pancakes were being constantly thrust at the masses as the definition of beauty, those females blessed with round and shapely extremities were marginalized by the greater community’s standard, and inaccurately lumped into the category of fat. Young men who rejected this standard, and rather considered these women the epitome of femininity, decided to create a new category, and aptly named it: Thick.

The result? Young men everywhere rejoiced, now having a term to accurately describe these carefully crafted sculptures, the perfect synergy of flesh, muscle, and bone.

However, there is not always strength in numbers. As this term continued to spread like wildfire throughout the community, the majority decided that the reaction to the term “thickness” was too desirable to belong only to the physical specimen, and needed to be repossessed. The result? Every female from the malnourished to the multi-stomach variety lined up to collect this precious label.

And today, the word has sadly been robbed of its very meaning, and brings a grimace to the face of Lord Destro(under the mask of Your Lordship) whenever it is uttered. What once activated The Royal Tree of Life now can only invoke images of wildebeast and skin burned to ash by excessive friction. Democracy encourages such mockery. And although you will never be worthy of a monarch such as myself, Lord Destro would recommend that you poor fools at least give oligarchy a try.

So hath Lord Destro spoken.