Lord Destro despises democracy. Why on earth should the majority rule? Especially when the majority is simply a cross section of the weak, the jealous, the cowardly, and the lazy? Lord Destro is so completely confused by the notion of “liberty and justice for all.” How is this possible, when the majority so feverishly lurks over the conscious few, constantly seeking to steal and defile each and every precious belonging of the minority?

Case and point: Thickness. A poetic term created within urban culture for the sake of identification. In a world where stick figures and pancakes were being constantly thrust at the masses as the definition of beauty, those females blessed with round and shapely extremities were marginalized by the greater community’s standard, and inaccurately lumped into the category of fat. Young men who rejected this standard, and rather considered these women the epitome of femininity, decided to create a new category, and aptly named it: Thick.

The result? Young men everywhere rejoiced, now having a term to accurately describe these carefully crafted sculptures, the perfect synergy of flesh, muscle, and bone.

However, there is not always strength in numbers. As this term continued to spread like wildfire throughout the community, the majority decided that the reaction to the term “thickness” was too desirable to belong only to the physical specimen, and needed to be repossessed. The result? Every female from the malnourished to the multi-stomach variety lined up to collect this precious label.

And today, the word has sadly been robbed of its very meaning, and brings a grimace to the face of Lord Destro(under the mask of Your Lordship) whenever it is uttered. What once activated The Royal Tree of Life now can only invoke images of wildebeast and skin burned to ash by excessive friction. Democracy encourages such mockery. And although you will never be worthy of a monarch such as myself, Lord Destro would recommend that you poor fools at least give oligarchy a try.

So hath Lord Destro spoken.

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